Galaxy Magazine (September 1955) by Galaxy

Author:Galaxy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 1955-09-08T16:00:00+00:00

scrimping along with a no-good freelance Monitor like you. . ."

"Sometimes I do pretty well. Three years ago, I sent you to the

Pleasure Palace for a month, remember?"

"Three years ago. Big deal."

HE flounced out of the room. Sadly, Jeb went to the closet and examined the various uni-forms and disguises that were part of his equipment as a freelance Monitor. As he selected the silver and black skintight suit of an Air Pollution Inspector, he wistfully remembered how nice it had been when Laurie had smiled at him. Immediately a flood of determination filled him to go out and do big things today. Maybe he would make a big strike and get a nice fat commission; then Laurie would . . .

The televisor buzzed, flickered, and the genial face of the man from Marriage Relations appeared.

"Good morning, Monitor Jeb," said the man, smiling. "And how are things 'twixt you and your beloved?"

"Rough," moaned Jeb. "She's really in a foul mood today."

The man from Marriage Relations beamed. "Fine, fine, glad to hear it."

"Huh?" said Jeb.

"Her Sadism Index Rating went up five points," the man

explained. "We wanted to make sure we hadn't made an error. Well, that certainly is good news for you two. I'll guess you'll both be all right now."

"All Tight? Are you kidding?"

"Now, now, we know what's best for you. Your Masochism Rating is quite high, you know. Laurie is just what you need. Why, you two were made for each other."

Suddenly the man stopped talking, gasped, and the screen flickered and went dead. Jeb's astonishment was wiped away by the soft, silvery bell tone of his portable Monitex, a flat two-by-six-inch machine resting on a shelf nearby. As Jeb wildly lunged toward it, he saw it was glowing red, activated by a violation, and as he snatched it up, the coded reading dial had a notification: £x-P-203.

■

Trembling, Jeb pressed a button on the lower left of the Monitex and a voice promptly droned mechanically from the waferlike loudspeaker hidden under the surface, giving details of the violation.

"Bx-P-203

At ten minutes

after eight a.m., Monitex 27965 of Freelance Monitor Jeb picked up violation of Copyright on the phrase 'were made for each other.' Said phrase property of Joint Owners registered under Copyright of Verbal Phrases Act

THE FREELANCER

of 1996. Owners, Magnum Motion Picture Studios and Univer-sal Publications. Fee for use 80 credits, commission fifty per cent."

THE voice went dead and the flat metal surface glowed with letters strung into words reading "Please Collect and Remit Total Fee."

As Jeb uttered a yelp of delight, Laurie came running into the room.

"I heard the Monitex bell," she said eagerly.

4

"You sure did," crowed Jeb. "Now aren't you proud of me?

I was smart enough to leave the Monitex on all night. We picked up a Verbal Copyright violation . . ."

"You left it on all night?" screeched Laurie, her joy fading. "You imbecile, the leasing charge on the Monitex is ten credits an hour, isn't it? What's your commission on this violation?"

"Forty credits. I — I guess I'm losing money, b-but .

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